mini mid-life crisis

The fact that I would even consider myself mid-life is enough to send me into a tizzy!!!

While I know in fact I'm not in the middle of my life I am having my eyes opened wide for the first time.

Becoming a parent has been the best thing in my life, my marriage comes in at a very close second. But I can honestly say my marriage has not made me question my place and space on Earth in nearly the way becoming a mom has done.

While at work today I was listening to one of my Pandora stations (http://www.pandora.com - for those not familiar, I love it!!), Depeche Mode, the song "Forever Young" by Alphaville came on and I had flashbacks to 8th grade. This caused me to start thinking how that is now over 20 years ago. WHAT!!! How is that possible and how is it possible that I'm only 4 years away from my 20 year high school reunion.

When did I get to be mid-30's. Seriously, I know I've got gray hairs that I conveniently cover up but seriously WTF mate!!! When did I start worrying about Life Insurance, my cholesterol (just got a test result back and it was bad but I did eat before the test...oops didn't realize I wasn't suppose to), and the consideration of going to my high school reunion. Wait still not sure that I have made up my mind to go to my high school reunion still seems pretty cheesy to me.

But I am now having all these grown up thoughts and realize I'm now the parent and not the kid. It is just such a nutty thought, part of me just wants to say, ciao I'm off to Vegas for the weekend see ya later (so not going to happen don't worry) but of course my very own Mom voice (not my my Mother's) sets off in my head and says, "no you are not dummy, you are staying home and playing with Luke". Which is what I would rather be doing anyways.

I'm so glad that I feel I am young enough to be a mom, that I'm energetic enough to keep up with him (at least for now) and that having a child around is bringing out the kid in me that honestly never went away.

So while yes I feel I'm experiencing some kind of crazy mini mid-life (well let's call it 1/3 life) crisis, I feel lucky at least I get to experience it with my son and husband and go through a new life of firsts. So they may not be my firsts anymore but my time as number one all the time has passed. It is time to actually make room at the top of my list and make sure that my family is at #1 with me.
That in itself is enough to talk me out of my tizzy - whew that was a close one!!!!